Hair Stylists Appreciation Day– Bah Humbug

April 30th is Hair Stylists Appreciation Day.

Bald people look forward to paying homage to these hard working hair stylists when they start offering half priced haircuts to bald people. Why are we paying full price for half the work? If you get a six-inch sub at Subway to we have to pay for a foot long?

So half-price haircuts or we take drastic measures…

Alfred Hitchcock

Famed movie director Alfred Hitchcock died on April 29, 1980

Not only was Hitchcock one of the most influential filmmakers ever, but his silhouette has become one of the most recognizable bald heads in the world.

Mutiny on the Bounty = Excluding the Bald Guy

On April 28, ___ the bald Captain William Bligh lost command of his ship–The Bounty–when his mutinous crew cut him adrift in the South Pacific on a 23-foot launch.

A brilliant navigator and captain, Bligh didn’t realize how much his crew members longed for the lady friends they made in Tahiti. Bligh shook off this rejection and went on to become Governor of New South Wales, Australia.

Rapper Too Short, the pride of Oakland, was born on April 28, 1966. He’s got a record label, blog, podcasts and it’s all on his website. Pretty tech-savvy for a P-I-M-P.

On April 28, 1945, Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, along with his mistress, were put to death.

Chuck Knox: A Man of Letters

Football coach Chuck Knox was born April 27, 1932. The son of an immigrant steel worker, Knox grew up in a tough town and brought his blue collar attitude to the NFL

Knox usually kept his combover hidden under his baseball cap, but he wore everything else on his sleave. Tough, principled, and intimidating, Knox was beloved by fans and respected by players. He’s the only coach to be included in the Seattle Seahawks’ Ring of Honor.

His biography, Hard Knox, was the single most inspiring book I read while I was in 7th grade. I did a book report on it. It was gritty, full of wisdom and rules to live by, but most of all it gave me an insight into a man I admired greatly. It also discussed his thoughts on O.J. Simpson (before the murder).

Should Knox be included in the pantheon of the greatest bald writers? Shakespeare, Nabakov, Rushdie… Knox?

Probably not. Knox is way tougher than all of them.

George Foreman Goes Godzilla on Canada

Many boxers were defeated by Muhammad Ali. Most shook it off, went about their careers and had themselves a pretty cool story to tell their grandkids:

“Did I ever tell you about the time I got my ass kicked by Muhammad Ali? It was at the MGM Grand in 1974, no wait, I think it was 1973, yes, 1973. Come to think of it that’s the same year I met your grandmother. She was just some groupie, but then she got pregnant and…”

But George Foreman didn’t take defeat the way other people would. George Foreman grew angry. He sought his revenge on April 25, 1975. With his self-esteem shaken, Foreman went north to Canada and went on an ass-whipping spree the likes of which haven’t been since the War of 1812.

In the course of a single afternoon George Foreman fought five men and knocked them all out. Then, he went on with his life, found God, went bald,
retook the Heavyweight Title and sold a boatload of grills.