Monthly Archives: March 2010

Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s Anti-Combover Crusade

ESPN’s Tim Hasselbeck, husband of The View’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck, explained the demise of his combover last week during an appearance on The Brock & Salk Show on ESPN 710 Seattle.

Just like his older brother Matt, Tim Hasselbeck used to play quarterback in the National Football League, proving athletic ability is just as much a genetic trait as baldness–although Matt is the balder of the two and the better quarterback.

But unlike his brother Matt, who quickly began shaving his head when the hair started falling, Tim insisted on clinging to the sad remnants of his former mane. Eventually, the combover became too much for his wife. Tim explained it Elisabeth who confronted him about his combover and explained, “Honey, you need to quit it before it fires you.”

Sage advice, and one that even Whoopi Goldberg probably agrees with.


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Out With the Bald, In With the New

There are some stark contrasts between veteran Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and the newly acquired Charlie Whitehurst: Primarily hair.

Whitehurst didn’t come cheap ($5 million per year). The Seahawks also swapped 2nd round picks with the Chargers (40th for 60th overall), and gave up next year’s third round pick for the former Clemson star.

Whitehurst is a big question mark. He has yet to play in a regular season game, but has shown promise during his preseason outings. He was certainly a star at Clemson and it warranted him a 3rd round pick by the Chargers in the 2006 draft. The Hawks must think he’s the heir-apparent for Hasselbeck and better than anyone they’ll get in this year’s draft.

Whitehurst, and his flowing mane, will eventually end the Seahawks recent string of bald quarterbacks (Trent Dilfer/Hassselbeck). It also erases the possibility of drafting Jimmy Clausen, a prospect whose own hairline is in steady retreat. Let’s hope the rookie hazing includes a buzz cut for Whitehurst. That hair may work on the beach in San Diego, but I don’t want to hear moronic commentators using his long hair to frequently reference Seattle’s grunge history.

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Early Baldness Could Save Your Life

Finally, some good news for those who started losing their hair early. Researchers at the University of Washington discovered men who began losing their hair before they turned 30 hadsignificantly less chance of developing prostate cancer later in life (article). So baldness could be good for your health.

High rates of testosterone are a cause of male-pattern baldness, but these researchers now believe people with higher levels of testosterone are less likely to develop prostate cancer.

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Burt Reynolds Has Quintuple Bypass Surgery

Actor Burt Reynolds was released from a Florida hospital Tuesday, following quintuple bypass surgery (related article). The 74-year-old is resting at home. Best known for his role in Smokey & The Bandit, he is equally famous for his astonishing collection of toupees.

The heart surgery is only the most recent of his health woes. In the fall, he was  treated for pain-killer abuse following back surgery (related article).

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The Skullet

Not that the Internet needs any more mention of mullets, but since the “Skullet” is the bald sub-species of the mullet, I suppose it must be addressed. Also known as the “bullet” and the “forced mullet,” the skullet is an embarrassing, but prideful manner to celebrate one’s remaining hair despite baldness.

Urban dictionary describes it as:

“A person with a mullet that is going bald on top… This subspecies of mullet refuses to let go of its cherished plumage.  What isn’t on top, it more than makes up for in the back. It keeps its locks locked-up in a ponytail for good luck and to keep the chicks hot... A man in his mid 40’s who is trying to retain what he believes is style and babe-magnet attraction by compensating for forehead hairloss by growing an ever longer, and often curly back mullet”

While most people fade from mullet to skullet gradually, some people actually seek out this style intentionally. And, as you can see from this video, women are prone to it as well.

Strangely, the skullet has its’ own weird following. There’s even a band in Nova Scotia called Skullet.


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Hank Baskett Loses Super Bowl

Jerry Glanville famously explained that “N.F.L.” stand for “Not For Long.” That certainly rings true for bald, Indianapolis Colts receiver Hank Baskett after he flubbed an onside kick during Super Bowl 44. The New Orleans Saints recovered the ball and the Colts never recovered.

Prior to this, Baskett was best known as the husband of Plamate Kendra Wilkinson. Now he can add “Super Bowl Goat” to his resume.

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