Monthly Archives: December 2009

December 15th In Baldness

In a press release, Rogaine introduced Utah Jazz forward Karl Malone as its’ pitchman (12/15/1998). Karl “The Mailman” Malone claimed he’d seen results in just two months. It wasn’t long before Malone saw those results wind up on the floor of his shower.
Henri Becquerel, a Nobel Prize-winning French physicist who co-discovered radiation… long after he discovered baldness (born: 12/15/1852).
Zamenhof Day, held in honor of Polish physician L.L. Zamenhof, inventor of Esperanto, the most popular “planned language” in the world–and on his birthday no less (12/15/1859).
The St. Louis Business Journal reported four of Bing Crosby’s toupees had been found in boxes of material donated to Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington, his alma mater, (12/15/2000). The toupees, which Crosby called “scalp dollies,” were found in an aptly named box marked “Crosby toupees.” reported discovering a secret memo written by Donald Trump’s face to his toupee, in which the the rug is accused of taking up too much prime real estate on the forehead, (12/15/2003).

Donald Trump inspires so many people: Miss America contestants, hopeful billionaires, future interns for billionaires, and country singer Kasey Jones, who wrote the song “I Hate Donald Trump’s Hair.” You can download it here.


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Filed under Art, baldness, Birthday, Celebrity Toupee, Hollywood, music, Nobel Prize, Sceince, Sports

Jessica Simpson & Billy Corgan?

With few men left who she hasn’t dated, Jessica Simpson has recently hooked up with former Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan. One is a bald malcontent and the other is a ditz. What do they see in each other? According to Simpson’s twitter account: “My friend, Billy Corgan, has a pure and enlightening outlook on faith.

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Filed under Celebrity Gossip, Hollywood, music, Musician

An Unlikely Pair

Happy birthday Sinead O’Connor (12/8/1966) and Sam Kinison (12/8/1953). The Sagitarius would have made a lovely, but unlikely, couple.

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December 6th is National Bad Hair Day

On December 6, 1997, Gene Keady, became the all-time-winningest coach in Purdue’s men’s basketball history. Truly a fine accomplishment, and maybe people would have taken note if they hadn’t been preoccupied with another Keaty-related December 6th event: National Bad Hair Day.

Gene Keady possesses one of the most sickening combovers in the history of hairloss. Their are various theories as to what his technique he uses: Shoe polish? Motor oil? Or more likely he uses what’s called the “wet comb.” By wetting a sponge or washcloth he’s able to press his hair down in what appears to be an oil slick. It’s a death sentence for any shorebirds who get caught in it.

Happy birthday to comedian Steven Wright (12/6/1955), a funny man who once asked an audience “What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?” He also wrote a book about a man living in a parallel universe who is arrested for inventing hockey.

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Filed under college basketball, Combover, Comedy, history, Sports

December 4,

Birthday boy, and Spanish dictator, Francisco Franco was born 12/4/1892. He would later grow up, join the military, and turn into a big douche bag. It wasn’t long until he was oppressing the people and posing for portraits while wearing animal pelts. And not just regular pelts, but those of animals whose limbs had been amputated. Just little furry stubs. No paws. Disgusting really.

Even though human life is “nasty, brutish and short,” English philosopher and political theorist, Thomas Hobbes, stuck it out for 91 years. He died 12/4/1679.

Famed psychologist Albert Bandura was born 12/4/1925, but cares really.

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December 3rd in Baldness

Benny Hinn: a televangelist with the most structurally unsound combover in the history of mankind, was born12/3/1952.

President John Quincy Adams, the baldest president in American history, loses his re-election bid to Andrew Jackson, 12/3/1828.

Influential French director Jean-Luc Godard, once married to the beautiful Anna Karina, was born 12/3/1930.

Swiss mountain climbing guide Ulrich Inderbinen, who climbed the Matterhorn 370 times, was born 12/3/1900

Bald Laker’s forward Karl Malone elbows mop-headed Dallas Mavericks point guard Steve Nash in the face, nearly knocking out a tooth and forcing the Canadian to get two stitches (video), 12/3/2003.

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Filed under Artist, Athlete, Bald Sports, Politicians, Religion

Safety Razor Day

December 2nd is National Safety Razor Day. And as if that isn’t enough reason for bald people to celebrate, there’s also these other significant days in bald history for December 2nd.

Edmond Rostand, a French dramatist, poet, and dandy, died on December 2, 1918.

Rapper Treach, the front man for Naughty by Nature, was born December 2nd 1970.
Fashion designer Gianni Versace, was born December 2. 1946

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